Nobody Likes An Early Bird
by KF182
Summary: OneShot. It's the night before the Marauders' Transfiguration OWL. Technically, the morning of. Remus is stressed out, Peter is snoring away, and James and Sirius just can't focus. Please read and review!


Disc.: I don't own this stuff.

Update On The Situation: Please see my profile for my plans on the summer and how it pertains to Note: This is just a silly little piece I dashed off, partially to get me into the writing mood and partially because I'm bored out of my skull. Please enjoy.

--------

It was one in the morning. Light crept through the window and cast eerie shadows on the room below. In this darkened room, lit only by the guttering candle and the flickering moonlight, four boys bent feverishly over skyscrapers of texts.

Well, one boy bent feverishly. One boy had fallen asleep and was currently drooling over his red leather book. The two remaining boys were flicking jelly beans at the sleeping boy. Meet the magnificent Marauders- the peculiar pranksters. The flabbergasting fiends. The scandalizing shockers.

Or something like that.

The two boys pitched another jelly bean at their slumbering companion.

"Nice shot, Padfoot," one boy snickered. He was wearing a disheveled assortment of clothes: rumpled green sweater, torn jeans, etc. While he seemed lively, it was clear that he was fairly exhausted. He grinned at his companion.

"Oh, Jamesie. I'm sure that, one day, you will display talents like mine. True, that day will be far off-" the other boy broke off. He took aim, and a pink candy arced into the air.

But his aim was off, and the jelly bean plummeted into the studious boy's hair. The slacker called Padfoot looked only slightly abashed. His friend cringed as they both waited for the outburst. They were not disappointed.

"JAMES! SIRIUS! Can you both just lay off for an HOUR? We have exams, guys, and you all are looking at a pair of juicy T's if you don't BUCKLE DOWN!" the pale boy ranted.

"Um, Remus, mate…" Sirius began. "You sound like my mum. It doesn't exactly bring back good memories, so can you lay off the whole 'you're-a-failure' speech?"

Remus glared. "No! You two STOP FLINGING JELLY BEANS!"

"God, Rems, it was just one jelly bean," James muttered.

"God, _James_, it was actually SIXTEEN jelly beans that Mr. Brilliant has thrown at me!"

"Flicked, not thrown," Sirius corrected mildly. "Ow, Prongs, why'd you kick me…"

Remus glared at his two friends. It was the night before their Transfiguration OWL. It was a crucial grade for all four boys, but James and Sirius had lost interest in studying hours ago, around the same time that Peter passed out. Remus himself was feeling drowsy, but he fought off the pangs of sleep deprivation by downing large mugs of bitter coffee.

"STUDY!" Remus roared.

"Fine, fine! Just don't get your knickers all up in a twist, Remus!" Sirius grumbled as he flung a random book open.

"And you, James?" Remus asked dangerously. "Will you study and stop egging the Brainiac on?"

Sirius looked up angrily. "Hey, listen. I don't HAVE to help you guys, you know. I'm the best in our year at this Transfiguration stuff. I was only here for the whole solidarity gimmick. But forget that! I'm going to bed before I become a schizo like Remus."

Sirius stalked off to his dorm, hiding a grin.

"Best in the year? More like he just doesn't care," James said good-naturedly.

"NO TALKING! MORE STUDYING!" Remus screeched.

"Easy there, have some more coffee," James suggested as the two boys got down to business. For the next three hours, not a sound was emitted except for the dulcet tones of Peter, the fourth boy, and his snores.

---------

"Hello, ladies," Sirius beamed the next morning. "Have a nice study?"

"Urgh," James mumbled. He chucked a textbook at his disgustingly cheery friend. James had fallen asleep, quill in hand, around four. Remus had managed to study for another half hour before the exhaustion set in and he keeled over.

"TEST!" Remus yelped, rousing Peter from his sleep. Peter promptly rolled off the couch and onto the floor.

"Wha-what…?" he groaned confusedly. "Did I fall asleep? Again?"

"Yes, dear Petey, you did! So did I, although I made it to my comfy bed," Sirius added, casting a disapproving eye on Peter. "But, anyways. Did you hear the news?"

Remus jumped up. He looked as if he had been electrocuted, a fact that Sirius duly noted.

"Hey Remus, did somebody send you an ElectroShock? You can buy those charms, y'know, at the joke shop. Good laugh…"

"What. News."

"It's about the test, Rems," Sirius began. But he was interrupted once again.

"Oh, NO. Sirius, you went and stole the test AGAIN? And so McGonagall made up an even HARDER ONE! Just like last-"

Sirius looked irked. "No. Anyways, that was two years ago. I was going to say-"

"YOU LIT IT ON FIRE!" Remus panicked.

"Good idea. But no, it's-"

"You ate it? Or did you pay some first-year to spill ink all over it? Or did you have Peeves rip it to shreds? Did you replace it with a mock test, like in the second-year?" Remus paused for breath.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed, looking seriously miffed. "And that mock test idea was golden! Who could fail a test that only asked one question? I mean, 'Who is the prettiest boy in all the land?' isn't a hard question at all! ANYWAYS, as I was saying…"

Remus had caught his breath. "Did you have the giant squid steal it? Or did you POISON MCGONAGALL?"

"Poison?" James echoed. "God, Sirius, that's terrible."

"You poisoned a teacher, Padfoot?" Peter perked up. "Was it the Astronomy instructor? I forgot to study for that OWL…"

"And before OWL's, Sirius! I'm so ashamed… Or maybe jealous, that's a damn good idea…" James continued.

Sirius's face turned red. "Guys, that's-"

"Murderer," Remus seethed. "I studied so hard for that test, and you MURDERED my chances at an O!"

"Um, shouldn't you be more worried that I killed McGonagall than about your OWL?" Sirius asked.

"YOU ADMIT IT!" three voices chimed.

Lily Evans wandered down the dorm stairs. She looked at Remus. "Admit what, Remus?"

Remus looked coldly at Sirius. The effect was only slightly ruined by the caffeine twitch in his eye. "Sirius poisoned Professor McGonagall."

"What?" Lily exclaimed. "Sirius, you are in SO much trouble! Is she hurt?"

Sirius sat down on the floor. He put his head in his hands and slowly rocked back and forth.

"He's a madman, I tell you," James cautioned, stepping closer and closer to Lily. "You need protection from a guy like that; he's touched in the head. Who knows who he'll go after next…"

"Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer," Remus chanted softly in an accusing tone.

Peter snored.

"SHUT UP! I DON'T POISON ANYONE!" Sirius shouted. Everyone fell silent.

"I woke up early and went down to the common room and saw the poster and it said that the OWL for Transfiguration was canceled so I got dressed and came down here and I was gonna SURPRISE YOU ALL BUT THEN YOU DECIDED I WAS A MURDERER! Just because Moony hasn't slept in four days and he's suffering from extreme PARANOIA!" Sirius shouted.

"That was a run-on sentence, Sirius," Lily said calmly. She went to inspect the message board. "You know, he's right…"

"THANK YOU!" Sirius cried.

"Oh," Remus sighed. "Oh." He collapsed onto the floor next to Peter.

James grinned cheekily. "Serves you right, y'know."

Sirius glared. He looked around the packed common room. "Shove off!" he yelled at the onlookers. "How does that serve me right, Potter?"

James beamed. "Nobody likes an early bird."

Sirius passed out.

--------

Author's Note: Just a short little one-shot to get my mind of exams. Which I have to study for. Now. Anyways (I don't want to depress you), read and review, please!


End file.
